Another holiday season has come and gone, and with it, all the best movies of the year. I have to admit, 2013 was pretty lackluster for movies if I do say so myself, but that said I am REALLY looking forward to 2014! From the upcoming summer hits like Amazing Spider-Man 2, to next holiday's sure-to-be smashes like the final Hobbit film, it's sure to be a good one!
That said, I'm guessing that those two that I mentioned are probably the highlights that most people know about. So today I'm going to be covering part one of my 2014 movie preview! So let's get started with January - March. And because I love you all sooo much, I've linked trailers to each movie if you click the titles! Enjoy!
I bet January will be great! I can't wait for January's awesome movies!
JANUARY:
1/2
-Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones
Oh...another found-footage horror movie? This is also the 6th Paranormal Activity movie? Huh. Well, they can't all be winners, but I'm sure the rest of the month will be good!
1/9
-The Legend of Hercules
Huh. The first of two Hercules movies coming out in 2014, which is blatantly ripping off every scene from "300"...mmmkay so again maybe not a super original way to start the year, but let's move on.
1/17
-Devil's Due
A...another crappy Paranormal Activity-type horror movie? Two in the first month...um, okay, this isn't going well but I'm SURE there's one good one in January!
-Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit
Super-spy being chased by his own government, and doesn't know why...so, its just a Bourne movie? Wow, this is a bad start. But hey, we've got one more super hyped movie, I bet its totally original! I still have faith!
1/24
-I, Frankenstein
*sigh* From the producers of Underworld comes...Underworld, but this time starring the guy who played Two-Face in "The Dark Knight".
So all-in-all, every hyped movie in January is utter crap, and is in some way totally copying or ripping off something else in a huge way, with absolutely ZERO originality. Crap. Well, let's leave this garbage month behind, and see what February has...surely something note-worthy?!
FEBRUARY:
2/7
-The LEGO Movie
Awww yeah! Here we go! A HUGE cast of voice actors in a movie about one of the most popular toys of all time! This movie looks great, and the trailers seem to market it as one of those kids movies that will have plenty of jokes for the adults too. The movie will be featuring LEGO versions of hundreds of characters, including Batman, Superman, Ninja Turtles, several pro athletes, Abraham Lincoln, and many many more.
-The Monuments Men
Starring George Clooney, Matt Damon, Bill Murray, and more, this movie is not your typical World War 2 shoot-em-up. It tells the true story of a group of art historians who were sent into Italy in WW2 to obtain as many timeless pieces of art as they could from out of the Nazi's hands. Definitely going to see this one!
2/12
-RoboCop
A reboot, with a very iffy mix of reactions so far, RoboCop brings a big-name cast (including Michael Keaton, Samuel L. Jackson, and Gary Oldman) to re-tell the origin of the futuristic cyborg law-bringer. I'll reserve judgement, as it looks good, but I know how hard it's been in the past for companies to reboot 80's action flicks.
-Vampire Academy
Ugh. The preview basically tells me that its Twilight, but trying to be sexier. In other words, a bunch of 17 year olds sucking each other's necks. Pass. But I figured I'd mention it since I'm sure you'll all be seeing countless commercials for it in the coming weeks.
2/21
-Pompeii
Another movie ripping off every famous scene from "300" from the looks of it. As the title implies, it tells the story of the destruction of Pompeii, but with all the slow-motion and streams of blood ripped off from every other movie made in this time period from the past 6 or 7 years. I may watch it if it ever goes on Netflix, but if I want to see the same shots over and over, I'll just watch "300" again. Y'know, a quick side-note here: "Troy" managed to pull off that time period just as well as "300" and without all the unnecessary Zack Snyder trademarks of slow-motion blood and sex scenes...I'm really excited for when movies STOP ripping off the Snyder style.
-The Wind Rises
Ok, after the few weeks of boredom there after you all went to see the "LEGO Movie", now we can all return to theaters to see Miyazaki's final masterpiece. If you've seen any of his past movies (My Neighbor Totoro, Ponyo, Howl's Moving Castle, etc.) you'll know what to expect, because Miyazaki never disappoints!
2/28
-Son of God
Uh oh...a Biblical movie. Don't get me wrong, as a Lutheran I have absolutely nothing wrong with spreading the word through the big-screen, and I remember how big of an impact "Passion of the Christ" made. But that said, this movie looks like it may be foregoing the actual Bible in some areas, just to draw in a bigger crowd. I'm hopeful, but very wary on this one...
MARCH:
3/7
-300: Rise Of An Empire
Ooooh JOY. We're only in March, and we already have three movies based in the time period of ancient Greece, and with the exact same visual style. From the same director as the original "300" comes an extremely unnecessary, money-grubbing sequel. Just re-watch the original "300".
-The Grand Budapest Hotel
Here we go, something good! This is the newest film from director Wes Anderson, one of my favorites. If you've seen his past movies (The Royal Tennenbaums, Rushmore, The Life Aquatic) you know who will star in it, and what it'll be like. Although this one does add some actors relatively new to Wes Anderson, such as Ralph Fiennes, and Edward Norton!
-Journey To The West
From the makers of "Kung Fu Hustle" comes pretty much Kung Fu Hustle 2. I love Stephen Chow's movies, they're always a really absurd mix of kung fu, and slapstick comedy that I can only describe as what an anime would look like if it were filmed in live-action. Go watch "Kung Fu Hustle" and if you like it, you'll probably like this!
-Mr. Peabody & Sherman
An unnecessary 3D adaptation of a really old cartoon. Pass.
3/14
-Need for Speed
Starring the guy who played Jesse on "Breaking Bad" comes the closest thing you'll get to "Fast & Furious 7" this year. Fast cars, explosions, most likely women in short skirts. Enough said.
-Tyler Perry's Single Mom's Club
WHY DO PEOPLE KEEP SEEING THESE?! Tyler Perry...STAAAAHP!!!
3/21
-Muppets Most Wanted
Following the surprising success of the most recent Muppets movie, comes another star-studded family adventure! I'm looking forward to watching Ricky Gervais, Tina Fey, and more interact with Kermit and his pals. I'll be seeing this one early on!
3/28
-Noah
Aaand here's our second Biblical adaptation of the year. I'm VERY wary of this one. It looks cool because of the big-name cast and very nice special effects, but from what I've read of the synopsis, they stray waaaaaay away from the actual Bible story of the flood. We'll have to see about this one...
PHEW! There you are, the biggest upcoming movies from January through March. Keep a lookout soon for part two, and sound off in the comments if I missed any that you've been looking forward to!
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